Hey, um, are you in a good mood? Sure, because this video only works if you're in a good mood. Okay, come on 2011. this camera is 12 years old. Thank you.

All right? How you doing? Okay, All right? Are you ready to find out The concept? Here's the concept: Candace and Casey's 10 tips for a successful relationship. We could do this right. Ten fine, just 10.. Well I think can I do number one? So the ten tips no, you gotta put Focus here.

Candace Number one for the 10 tips is you have to spend time alone together. There's no focus on each other when we're not alone. If see, that's good. Okay, my brain's not working right now.

All right. What's not? What's another tip Candace We have to come up with nine more laughing. What If you don't think your partner's funny? What's the hardest part of being married? What's the hardest part of a long relationship not getting? Not not thinking that all the things that were Charming when you first met are not still? Charming I Think that counts. So like the things that you think are cute with me, you still think are cute.

you're not like oh my God that I still think you're cute. Seven more tips. You didn't tell me that this was like a test. Um, oh.

limited edition. Wow. Oh yeah, that's special. Okay, I've got I've got a big one.

I've got a very unsexy one, but it's a very big one. You have to be patient. What you think? that's generic? What? What's wrong? That's a really good one, I know. but you're kind of tips for things that we aren't really good at doing well here.

Yes, we are. You think we're patient with each other? No, we almost got divorced seven months ago and if there wasn't any patience there any resolved by either of us to be like. All right, let's just chill out for like five minutes and try to figure this out. that's patience I Guess so.

And then we figured it out. Yeah, very patient. It's okay. this is the big one that it's really like.

obtuse in its concept, but it's really important and it's work. Like tips: six through ten? What are we on? Four through ten? Yeah. Look this whole thing. it says 10 tips.

Okay, but you can't use up all six of them. Let's change it. Let's just keep. Let's uh, there's one tip and then there's sub tips.

Okay, we'll get this one and then there's one. A B C D E F G H I Okay, go there. What's this Heavy tip? Work is so much work. So under work comes making time for yourself.

That takes work. finding each other's still funny. It actually does take work because you have to like train your brain to be like that. was cute when we first met.

Which means it's so cute. Now, instead of being annoyed, it takes work to not being annoyed. It takes work to be patient. It takes work to find a therapist.

So you don't get divorced. It takes work. We go to marriage counseling. and I think people who don't understand therapy or have never experienced therapy, they think of it as like this heavy thing.

This is what marriage counseling is. It's fighting with a referee who's smarter than both of you, right? And then you leave and you're like that made sense and usually the ref doesn't pick a winner. It just helps you understand what the two of you are fighting over right? How many did we go through because Dr P wouldn't take us anymore. We got fired by one of our therapists.

Foreign? No. I Just think this should get its own card work. Yes, that's it should be the only card. and if you don't want to put in the work, then don't be in a relationship.

Someone very close to me. My father just told me that if he had to do it all over again, he would be a bachelor because it's too hard to be married and have kids. Her dad literally said this weekend if I could do it over again I wouldn't have He said this to his daughter. He said he'd sail and he'd get a new Porsche every year and his life would be easy.

See I Think and maybe it's easy because we're having a good day today. I Think the work is worth it? Yeah, every time there's a dark shadow, you think it's a shark. It's definitely not for everybody. I Will say that I used to judge people when I was in my 20s.

who'd say they didn't want to have kids and I'd be like that's just weird now that I'm married with kids I get it. And when my father said that to me I wasn't even mad I was like yeah, that would be nice I do think this thing that I've made a video about before is so critical. it's a Venn diagram. Yeah, yes it is.

see cute. still cute I Think this is so critical. and when I speak with friends who are married and they're having strife I attribute it to a lack of respect for this which is I've explained this stupid forecast. but this is me maintaining my sense of self and my work and my friend like my own life.

You with your own life and then together we share this relationship and where it gets Troublesome is when it becomes like one sort of relationship. messy. Circle and you give up your sense of self and I give up my sense of self and you sacrifice that for the relationship I Think that is extremely detrimental, but this this requires a lot of this, right? Yeah? Tip: number eight. That had to be five in there.

Maybe? Yeah. Tip number eight. This is so much pressure. it's just like a quiz.

Okay I have a tip: Respect each other's pet peeves. You cannot internalize it when someone doesn't like it when you leave your underwear on the floor. Oh yeah, except for the fact that I don't understand why it's so important to you to load the dishwasher after every single dish. Okay, but but when a partner has a pet peeve that you think is unimportant because it's just frivolous, but it's so important to that partner.

It could be simple, like please put the pen caps on It drives me crazy and you're like that's stupid I'm not fighting over. No, you have to do that. But when you put the pen cap on, the partner feels heard and respected and it's like you hear it and you internalize it. Number Nine: Oh, I'm supposed to come up with another one.

Yeah, what does she tell us in therapy when we had that huge blowout fight and we like wanted to cancel the trip and you could tell we were like past our minutes with her and she just kept looking around. She's like guys I Hate to leave it at this but we're out of time. She said life is short. If lightning were to strike today and and you were gone, would I really give a about the fact that we were fighting over dishes or something stupid like.

life is short and that is tip Number Nine: Life is short. Let the little things go. I Have a good hand. Is it good enough to be Tip number 10.

It's good enough whenever I see old pictures of us. like when we were like dating or whatever. Well, we were young and beautiful. Yeah, it makes me love you so much.

I Don't know. So maybe if you're having a bad day, go back in your phone. or if you're old like us, go back into your pictures and look at a cute picture of yourselves. When you really liked each other a friend lizard.

don't be sad I know you will. but don't give up. Thank you! Can't find you who love is searching too. But don't give up and tell true love.

This one's a secret. Okay, let's see the secret one. Where do you want me to show it? Show me I can't put that on camera. Laughs Okay, that's good.

Good work. Thanks for helping me. Sure.